Dating, Living Together, etc: Christian Singles and Purity
For the Christian single, there truly is no alternative to abstaining from sexual contact that belongs in a marriage. By and large, this means that most behavior beyond holding someone’s hand is forbidden. The reason: God does not only consider what we do with our bodies, but He also judges what we do with our minds. Consider the words of our Lord Jesus Christ:
Matthew 5:27-30 27 “You have heard that it was said, ‘YOU SHALL NOT COMMIT ADULTERY'; 28 but I say to you that everyone who looks at a woman with lust for her has already committed adultery with her in his heart. 29 “If your right eye makes you stumble, tear it out and throw it from you; for it is better for you to lose one of the parts of your body, than for your whole body to be thrown into hell. 30 “If your right hand makes you stumble, cut it off and throw it from you; for it is better for you to lose one of the parts of your body, than for your whole body to go into hell. NASB95
The idea that Christians could live together, sleep together, or even be involved in prolonged kissing–and not be in danger of sinning, is nearly ludicrous. The paths a young man’s mind, or a young woman’s mind go down during any of these (or similar) activities are paths of sin. They will be be awakened to desires and physical reactions which are reserved for the marriage bed. These desires would not be stirred up, or would be less likely to be stirred up if the Christians were keeping themselves in more morally safe places.
Also, if the one could actually remain pure in their thoughts and desires (and this is likely a big if), what of the other Christian involved? What if that person is being led to sin with their mind as they imagine how this could all go further? What if the person is not a Christian, while claiming to be one? What if the Christian is aware of the very real possibility that their boyfriend/girlfriend is not Christian, but is actually very confused about what true faith in God is?
In pushing the boundaries of sexual thoughts and contact meant for marriage, what picture of Christ and the Gospel-life are they living out in front of the other? What if the other actually is unsaved, and goes to their grave with a distorted view of the Gospel because of the so-called liberty of the Christian?
What we do with our bodies and our minds matters–plain and simple. And based on our Lord’s words above, putting ourselves in situations where we can end up enjoying sinful thoughts and nurturing sexual desires is not just a bad idea–it is soul damning.